It's funny how as you grow up, things change.
For most of my life, I'd had my heart set on being the "career mom."
I never wanted to be THAT Mormon mom who just stayed home cleaning and cooking and such.
I wanted to be that mom who had the perfect work life, but somehow still managed to keep that spotless home, have dinner on the table and raise charming, well-behaved children.
Somehow, I was going to do it all.
The thing is, the closer I get to having to enter the "real world" of life after college, the more I really don't want to.
I love my job and would love to keep doing it, but it is SO not conducive to being a mommy.
All of a sudden, all I want is to stay home and just BE.
The more babies I see, the more time I spend with my favorite kids, the more I realize that's the life I want.
I want to be the soccer/football/basketball/dance/whatever mom.
I can't wait to play with them, explore with them.
I want to teach them.
Teach them to love books.
Teach them the gospel.
Teach them to move and be active.
Teach them to love.
Teach them to love music and culture.
Teach them to stand up for themselves and for each other.
Teach them to pray.
Today in church we watched a movie of some church leaders discussing the life of Mary Fielding Smith.
A single mom for much of her life, she moved her family across the plains and focused on raising them in righteousness.
She dealt with a whole lot but it resulted in so many great things and an incredible posterity.
The choices I make now are going to have such an impact on the future - so many things I can't comprehend or fathom right now.
I want that. I want all of it.
It's just a matter of remembering that it's not in my timing, but His.
The longer it takes, the better I'm getting, the better he's getting and the better everything will be.