Saturday, October 29, 2011

When I woke up this morning, I felt...
out of sorts.
I've been dealing with some stuff for the last couple of days and it was starting to get the best of me.
Whenever that happens, I know where I need to go.
I called the temple and talked them into squeezing me in. 

My trip there today was perfect.
I love walking in, greeted by the friendly old man checking the recommends.
Today, even the women were friendly and in good moods.
I didn't feel rushed (which doesn't usually happen at this temple).
As I perused the scriptures, I kept happening across the ones I really needed to read.
Afterwards, I took a walk around the grounds and felt nothing but peace.

I got a chance to clear my head, and think of absolutely nothing.
Particularly the things I'd been stressing about.
As I drove out of the parking lot, I felt a thousand times better than when I'd driven in.
It was exactly what I needed. 

Monday, October 24, 2011

Two more hours...
In two hours I will officially be 22 years old.

Now, I love my birthday.
Easily one of my favorite days of the year.

For some reason, though, 22 is scaring me.
It seems so much more "grown up" than 21.
It's like I actually have to grow up and stuff.

A lot of big things happen with the year of 22.
And by a lot, I just mean graduation.
But still. That's big, right?

But here's to you, 22.
I ask you to be great.
Be epic. Be exciting. Be an adventure.
Bring me wonderful things.

I know a couple things are for sure.
There are great people in my life who will make it great.
And I'm going to look great celebrating tomorrow with my early birthday presents from both Mom and myself ;)

Monday, October 10, 2011

Vent Sesh

Even though I'll be 22 in just two short weeks, every once in awhile I have those "I want my mommy" moments. Admit it, you have them too.

The fact that I'm feeling overwhelmed, yet completely in control.
That I feel as though it's not possible to please everyone I need to be pleasing all at once.

That I'm exhausted and can't ever feel like I'm getting enough sleep.
That I should be sleeping right now, but have too much on my mind.

That my 18-year-old brother has a better dating track record than I do.
And that he reminds me of such often.
That my only ex is engaged married and there are no other obvious prospects.
That I have no idea what I'm doing wrong.
That I see certain girls as obnoxious and doing things wrong, yet they are the ones with multiple dates every weekend.
But I don't want to be them. It doesn't seem worth it.
That I haven't been on an actual date in over a year.

That I turn 22 in two weeks and it's kind of freaking me out.
It seems like it should be so much more grown-up than 21 and I don't know what to do about it.

That I spend all my time doing everything.
And then just come home.
To nothing.
All my close friends are married/dating/working too much.
That they're the only ones I ever hung out with.

That I forget to eat because I'm constantly running.

That I'm scared of growing up.

The fact that it's so ridiculous that this blog is the only thing I have to spill and cry to because I couldn't possibly show some actual emotion in real life.
That I suppress these feelings because expressing them would show weakness.

That my car keeps costing me an arm and a leg.
And that I'm too independent to ask for help or demand immediate payment from the other half.
That life in general costs so much money.

That everything will be OK...
That I have words like these, from wonderful men of God, to get me through...

"You are not invisible to your Heavenly Father. He loves you. He knows your humble heart and your acts of love and kindness. Together, they form a lasting testimony of your fidelity and faith.
"Please understand that what you see and experience now is not what forever will be. You will not feel loneliness, sorrow, pain, or discouragement forever. We have the faithful promise of God that He will neither forget nor forsake those who incline their hearts to Him. Have hope and faith in that promise. Learn to love your Heavenly Father and become His disciple in word and in deed.
"Be assured that if you but hold on, believe in Him, and remain faithful in keeping the commandments, one day you will experience for yourselves the promises revealed to the Apostle Paul: “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”
"Brothers and sisters, the most powerful Being in the universe is the Father of your spirit. He knows you. He loves you with a perfect love."
- Dieter F. Uchtdorf, General Conference Oct. 2011 -
And that is all I need to know. 

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

FALLing in Love

You guys. I adore October.

It starts with General Conference.
Football continues and basketball begins.
The leaves start changing and the air gets crisp.
My birthday happens!

It's amazing how a little decorating and fall-ifying can brighten up a mood and bring roommates together.
Our house smells and looks like fall.
I wanted an excuse to put up Christmas lights, so instead, we have "harvest lights." Use the white lights, throw in some fall leaves, and you have yourself a glorious window.

This is me, falling in love with fall. 

Monday, October 3, 2011

Quick Letters

Today there have been a few people (who I don't know) that I've wanted to call out... So here we go.

Dear snotty girl in zumba,
We can tell you were a cheerleader in high school. Keywords? IN HIGH SCHOOL. You aren't anymore. In fact, you look like you've been out of high school as long as I have. Enough with the cutsey hair, Soffe shorts and tank tops, and old cheer shoes (that was a new one today... Really!?) You don't need to push your way to the front to try and show off and prove to the teacher that you know how to dance. Have you noticed she doesn't care?

Dear housing/freshmen,
Humans v. Zombies again? Really? I'm not a fan of being caught in the middle of these "attacks." Oh, and no, we aren't going to give you a whole story in the Statesman. It's not new or that big of a deal anymore. The first time, ok. But you're no longer newsworthy :)

Dear seller of Diet Coke,
Just because you apparently don't want to be at work today doesn't give you the right to be rude to people purchasing stuff. It's not the end of the world if my friends and I stand off to the side to chat for a few minutes. No, we weren't ready to be helped. And just sayin', I've never had anyone hand me my change that forcefully before. Cheer up! Mondays aren't that bad. You have a job that could be really fun and awesome if you'd let it.

Dear iPhone,
I love you.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

The Future

I love Conference weekend.
This time around though, I got a little excited about the whole future thing.

I had this little vision... (nothing crazy - no angels or anything, just one of those "ooh.. that's what it will be like" moments)

I pictured me and my super-cute husband sitting on the couch in our cute starter home, covered in fall decorations.
Our sweet, though mildly rambunctious kidlets are finally settled down coloring the squares of Conference BINGO, because they don't have the patience to just play the game.
Saturday night, the boy goes off to Priesthood session with his friends while I clean the house, play with the kids and get the cinnamon roll dough ready for the next morning.
Between Sunday sessions we bust out whatever our Conference tradition meal will be (that's of course to be determined when I have more details... haha)

Life will be sweet and wonderful.
We'll have the gospel and our family :)

Now, I know, I know, life isn't always going to go that beautifully.
But oh well.
It can happen if we work at it and it can be wonderful.

Today, I'm not scared to grow up.

(up next, why I'm scared to death of turning 22 in 22 days...)