Saturday, May 29, 2010

Follow-Up (of sorts...)

A couple of days ago, I wrote THIS

Well tonight I watched a "chick flick" that totally gets me.


It all ends well, don't worry. But what I loved about it? It deals with a lot of the stuff girls like me feel.
I want to be dating and all that jazz, but at the same time it terrifies me.
I don't know if I can handle commitment. I don't want to end up hurt.

This movie understands.

Friday, May 28, 2010

10 things I love:

10- fountain Diet Coke with pellet ice
9- summer/heat. I'd rather be hot than cold any day
8- boys. Particularly those who smell good, dress up, or call me Meg
7- the lingering smell of campfires
6- writing and reporting the news
5- sports. Especially if they involve the Aggies, the Cowboys, AZ Cardinals, or the Jazz
4- rodeos, cowboys, demolition derbies and country dancing
3- sleeping in a cold room with lots of blankets
2- fireworks and the 4th of July
1- driving stick

10 things I don't love:

10- bad grammar and spelling
9- tomatoes and cucumbers
8- doing crafty things
7- reality shows that never seem to end (e.g, Survivor, the Apprentice)
6- long, boring class lectures
5- the sound of ice scraping
4- people who don't follow through
3- bad drivers
2- BYU and the Lakers
1- being late

also... I'll be home in the desert in approximately 32 days...

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Maybe it's because I can't get enough of this show...

Or maybe it's because I watch movies like this over and over and over...

Or maybe it's because I can't stop listening to songs like this...

Whatever it is, I'm a hopeless romantic.
And the thing is, I'm tired of this whole single thing. 
I'm close-ish to 21 and I've never been in a serious relationship.
I haven't been on an actual date in a year and a half.
I haven't kissed or been kissed in almost a year.
(yes, I know that doesn't exactly make sense... long story...)
I don't know why. It's one of the many things in my life that I don't understand.
I look at other girls who are dating and stuff, and I don't know what's different.
There are some who I look at and wonder what I'm doing wrong.
I think I'm funnier, cuter, happier, whatever it may be...
What do they have that I haven't got?
I listen to friends talk about all the boys they're dating/kissing/what-have-you, and just don't understand.
I'm tired of being by myself.
I'm tired of not having that someone to go to.
I want that.
I want it so badly.
I deserve it. Don't I?
I'm tired of it... When will it change?

Monday, May 24, 2010

Summer Movies

I want to see these ones...

*and you better believe our A-Team will be there, midnight premiere, in our matching A-Team shirts*

Toy Story 3
*none of the videos would let me embed them... weird...*

But mostly I can't wait to see this one...
*Selena Gomez wouldn't have been my choice for Beezus, but oh well*

Sunday, May 23, 2010

The Song of the Righteous...

Church was.... long... today. It was hot, boring, and we were on hard chairs.
Derek and I found ourselves waiting very impatiently for the meeting to be over.

We finally got to the closing song and we both got excited to hear that it was a short one.
As we started singing, I noticed something that hit me pretty hard.

We were on the hard chairs in almost the back row, so we had to sing the songs from memory.
Derek couldn't remember the words in English, so he gave up and just sang it in Spanish.

I looked over to the other half of our area and saw someone I didn't know signing the words to the hymn.

It doesn't matter how you sing it. The message of the hymns is the same. The spirit is the same. All that matters is that you're putting forth the effort and giving the praises to our Heavenly Father.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Tonight I'm Feeling...

but refreshed after a long run in the rain...

from the smell of campfire that has built up on my favorite sweatshirt...

by Lost...

on a great burger and fries for dinner...

because some things are finally going my way...

because not all things are going my way...

EXCITEDto finally have a job...

by the roommates...

So many feelings right now...
Most of them good.

As tired as I am of the rain, that run felt amazing.
I love summer for many reasons. The fires and nights in the canyon being just some of those reasons.
I have to watch all of Lost season 6 by Sunday before the finale. Don't worry, only 3 episodes left. Thank goodness. My mind can't take it anymore.
Tomorrow is Kaili's (from A-Team) birthday. Since we'll all be in Park City tomorrow, we went to celebrate at Beehive Grill tonight. Delicious.
Things are looking up. Next year I will be the Campus Rec chair on the USU Athletics Committee. I can't wait.
I'm sick of boys one boy in particular. I keep telling myself to get over him. It's been long enough that I'm aware nothing's happening. However, I can't help it. He's just too great. Usually at this point I just give in and tell the guy how I feel. He's different. We're good enough friends and spend too much time together that I don't want the awkwardness. Losing what we already have isn't worth it to me.
I got a job offer today. I took it without hesitation. I will be working for the university's catering company. It is convenient, flexible, and should be a lot of fun. 
I know a lot of it's my fault, and there's things I could do to make it better, but it's still hard to not feel included in a group. I just don't fit in with her constant energy and enthusiasm. Sometimes I need a break. That sometimes is turning in to a lot of the time.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010


Extroversion, iNtuition, Feeling, Judgment.

As a part of A-Team every year, we take the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test. Basically it's a personality preference test. 

Are you introverted or extroverted? Do you go off senses or intuition? Are you more about logical thought or your feelings and emotions? Do you judge or perceive?

These kind of things always freak me out. They know me so well. Here's a brief run-down of what it said about me.

Characteristics of ENFJs
-ENFJs base decisions on personal values.
-They are warmed by approval and are especially sensitive to criticism or tension.
-ENFJs see meanings and connections where others do not.
-ENFJs naturally see the potential for growth in others and devote energy to help others achieve it.

How Others May See Them-ENFJs are energetic, enthusiastic and very aware of others.
-They listen to and support others, but also have very definite values and opinions of their own which they will express clearly.
-They like their lives to be organized and will work to bring closure to ambiguous relationships or situations.

Potential Areas for Growth
They may make decisions too quickly without taking in enough information or considering factors beyond their personal values.
-If ENFJs do not find a place where they can use their gifts and be appreciated for their contributions, they will usually feel frustrated and may worry, feel guilty, and doubt themselves, and become overly sensitive to criticism- real or imagined.
-Under great stress, ENFJs may find themselves suddenly and uncharacteristically critical and fault-finding with others. They generally keep these opinions to themselves, but find the thoughts troubling and upsetting.

Work Related Strengths
Promotes harmony, builds cooperation, respects a variety of opinions, can be a good public speaker and/or facilitate group discussions, decisive, organized, natural leader

Work Related Weakenesses
-Tends to idealize people, can make decisions too quickly, may have trouble dealing with conflict, tends to delay thinking about problems, may take criticism too personally

Popular/Good Occupations for ENFJs
     *writer, JOURNALIST, advertising account executive, recreational director, PR SPECIALIST, politician
-Education/Human Services/Counseling
      *facilitator, career counselor, UNIVERSITY POSITION: dean of student, housing director (combine those and a couple others, and that's what I want!), social worker, nonprofit organization director
       *HUMAN RESOURCES, travel agent, small business executive

That last part, the part about good careers, is the most exciting part of it to me. The fact that both majors as well as my minor are on there is SO comforting! It's nice to know I'm in something that's a good fit.

Overall, I was very impressed with the results.

There are websites that list famous people of each personality type. Who's like me?

Barack Obama, Ronald Reagan, Abraham Lincoln
Michael Jordan, Peyton Manning
Ben Stiller, Lauren Graham, Matthew McConaughey
Oprah Winfrey, Phil McGraw, Diane Sawyer

All very respectable people who I would love to emulate  in some form or another. They are smart, funny, successful, and loved and respected by a lot of people.

Want to take the test yourself? Go HERE

Thursday, May 13, 2010

World Cup 2010

Even if you're not a soccer fan, I think you'll enjoy this...

Can't wait...

Thursday, May 6, 2010

So I didn't get the assistant editor position, but I will be the senior writer for the news section. It's not entirely what I wanted, but I'm still excited. My friend Megan got the spot and my friend Catherine will be the head news editor. It will be a good year. It's always a good time when the three of us are together.

In my interview the other day, Ben threw out the line "no matter what happens, you still have two years left." Which, to be honest, I'm kind of tired of hearing. With everything that hasn't gone my way this semester, that's what I hear.

Because in reality, that's not true. All the things I've heard that about are for next year. Meaning that when the time comes to do it all again, I'll be doing it for my last year. So really, what they're saying is "you've got one more shot..."

Two years just isn't enough.

The paper is my new outlet. My new thing. I love ASUSU, don't get me wrong, but things have just changed around there. I don't feel like I really fit in with everyone anymore. There are still a few people I'm really close with, but I feel like the whole structure of it has changed. It's just not my thing anymore. I consistently find myself left out of things. There are conferences, etc. that while not everyone gets to go to, I feel like I'm at the point in my involvement and stuff that I should be one of the ones selected to go.

After I ran for office, on everyone's insistence and recommendation, and lost, it hurt. It hurt more than I let on. My adviser and others seem to be planning on me running again next year, but I doubt I will. I tried. It was fun. I learned a lot. But I don't think I'll try again.

I love my life, I really do. It's just been... complicated... lately. I'm am SO glad summer is here. My finals are over. My grades all turned out pretty well this semester, surprisingly. It's honestly been the semester from hell. So much stress, so much going on, and classes that I didn't love on top of that. I'm glad it's over. I'm ready for summer.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

A Countdown of Sorts...

5... Days until a fabulous Page/Nelson/Shaffer/Larson Mother's Day cook-out.

4... Bites left of my Bear Lake (via Logan LeBeau's) raspberry shake.

   3... Tests left to take.                     

   2... Boys I wouldn't mind dating who I'm trying to convince to date me.

1... Interview for an editor position at the Statesman tomorrow!

Monday, May 3, 2010

Favorite Song of the Day

Kayleigh will appreciate this.
I love this song.
I feel like it's very relevant to my life.

Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me why
Are you still so afraid?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Slow down you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight (tonight)
Too bad but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself
That you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
You know you can't always see when you're right(you're right)

You got your passion you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you

Slow down you crazy child
Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while
It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize...
Vienna waits for you.

And you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through

Why don't you realize...Vienna waits for you
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Sunday Thoughts

It's one of those rambling days...

I love my ward. So much. Today was the "last day" only, we're going to be in the ward for summer and next school year as well, so it was just the last day of the ward as we know it. It was a great day in the 47th Ward.

Tonight was a CES fireside, and I'm so glad we went! Bishop H. David Burton was the speaker, and he was great! He talked a lot about how life is a highway, (Yes, Mom, I had the song in my head the rest of the night), and how we just need to stay on the right road and all that good stuff.

Another thing he hit pretty hard was prayer. I had an interesting thought/revelation/what-have-you during that part.

I've always had a pretty hard time with the regular prayer and scripture study thing. I know that I should do it, I just get busy and forget about it. Well tonight, without Bishop Burton really even saying anything to spark this, I realized something.
One thing that's a huge part of my life is talking to my dad on the phone. We talk almost every day, and if we don't, my day doesn't feel quite right. I find myself keeping track of the things I want to tell or ask him. I can talk to him about anything. School, boys, stress, (which usually is caused by a combination of boys and school), ANYTHING. He gets excited for me when I need it, he has the answer to any of my problems, and he is there just to listen to me vent. I can laugh, I can cry, I can scream.
Well, I realized that prayer, talking to my Heavenly Father, should be the same thing. If I'm not talking to Him every day, something should feel off. I should be able to talk to Him about anything. I should be able to laugh and cry to Him. I should find myself longing for the next time we can talk and keep track of things I have to say.
My goal this summer, and for next school year, is to do a lot better at reading my scriptures and having regular conversations with my Heavenly Father.

Tonight after the fireside, ward prayer, and SigEp Sunday, I came home and realized I had nothing to do. I turned on the tv and started flipping through channels. I came upon the History Channel and a show that I had been wanting to watch, America: The Story of Us. It was INCREDIBLE! I love history. My inner nerd in me came out as I watched, enthralled, for the next couple hours. I was fascinated by the stories of the Wild West, slavery and the Civil War, and so much else from that piece of history. All of a sudden it was over... I can't wait for the next episode! After that was over, another show came on that was so interesting! It's called Sliced. It was so cool! This guy just goes crazy cutting stuff open to see what's inside and how it works. In the episode I watched, he cut open a MagnaDoodle, an Etch-a-Sketch, a Magic 8 Ball, and a garbage disposal! I loved it. I love the History Channel!

I love the fact that I'm about to go to bed, but I don't actually HAVE to get up in the morning. I don't have any tests until Wednesday afternoon, so in the next couple of days I just have to study a little bit and go to work. Pretty excited that the end of this week equals the beginning of summer.

My friend Derek and I decided that the bad/rainy/snowy weather we've been having the last week or so is really a blessing in disguise. It's Heavenly Father's way of telling us that we need to be inside, going to class, and studying when we're not in class. The week before last, it was super warm and sunny and everyone was having a hard time going to class. We all just wanted to spend our time laying on the Quad in the sunshine. So naturally, at the end of this week, the sun and warmth will come back to us and we can kick summer off properly!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

More Favorites

A few months ago, Mike McGee came and performed at Utah State. He is an incredibly talented slam poet. I finally found some of his stuff online the other day and decided to share. This is one of my favorites of his poems called Lullaby. This one is unique because it's the only one that is done to music.

This is from a band called Green River Ordinance. I don't know a lot about them, or know much of their music, but I do know that I LOVE this song! It's called Endlessly and it's beautiful.

Well, Finals Week is here. Luckily I only have two tests and neither of them are really big/vital.