Thursday, February 4, 2010

*sigh*

To put it bluntly, today has been one hell of a day.

I hate stress. I hate decisions.

Today was full of those.

Remember this?

Or this one?

Well things have changed again.

After a personal breakdown and the "Emotional Breakdown Hour with Tiffany Evans," with Kayde, I feel much better.

I'm still running, don't worry. But I switched to Student Advocate. As of right now, it's just me running, but one of my friends is still thinking about it. Even if he runs, I feel like we'll be ok. It always worried me to run against a friend, but he and I are involved on so many levels together, we have to be mature about it and not let the drama mess things up.

Tiff told Kayde not to let the names of the others get in the way, but with me, she understood. The guy I would have been running against is huge on campus. He's been very limitedly involved, but it's his name. Everyone knows his family. It scares me. If people didn't know either of us, they would know his last name and vote for him. I went back and forth between my confidence in being able to beat him and not.

I know I would love Athletics, but I know I could love Advocate.

I've been focusing all my energy on Athletics ideas and not Advocate, but after some time, I'll be ok. I'll get it figured out.

I decided I would rather have an impact on the university as a whole than on just the sports fans.

I want to TRULY make a difference.

I'm done changing my mind. I have to be. But I feel good about this. I'm scared, I'm excited, I'm ready. I would really be ok if we just skipped to post-elections.

But here I am. I feel much better about everything. Venting is a great thing. Especially three times over. People know me better than I know myself sometimes and understnad the things that I don't.

Ready. Set. Go.

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