You Spin My Head 'Round, Baby Right 'Round

Here's the thing, peeps.
I'm kind of over this whole "be a grown up" business.
After an hour-long conversation with my dad, my head is spinning and I'm ready to just quit and go back to childhood.
Oh wait, that's not a choice?
So now my head is spinning. This is all new territory and I'm not sure what I'm doing.

It all started with my parents informing me that I have until August to find and set up my own car insurance.
After an hour of attempting to look up stuff online, I realized I had no idea what I was doing or looking for.
(if any of you have suggestions on who to go with, talk to me!)

All of that car talk got me really thinking about seriously looking into getting a "new" car.
Mine has all sorts of problems and is just a pain.
Maintenance is expensive, and I feel like it's going to explode on me at any minute on long drives.
Not cool.

After a little bit of research, I realized a monthly payment really isn't THAT expensive, and is probably with it at this point.

Here's the thing about me.
I am terrible at the whole "saving money" concept.
If the money is there, I want to spend it.
And I do. On stupid stuff.
(You know like clothes, eating out, all that kind of stuff.)So my logic is saying, I have the money, I can just spend it on something more productive.
Plus, with as much as I spend on the constantly depleting oil that goes in my car, along with the gas for the awful gas mileage I get, I could almost make a payment out of that alone.

SO.
I'm officially in the market for a car.
Something under 100,000 miles.
For sure less than $10,000, but I'm really aiming for like $6-7 thousand tops.
Oh, and let's say anything 2005 and later.

My dream car is a Mazda3.
I think they're darling, for one, but people also love them.
I've really never heard anything bad about them.

Next choices would be an Altima or an Elantra.
I'm scouring KSL, and just starting the whole process, but if you have any suggestions or tips, PLEASE let me know. I have no idea what I'm doing.

And now, I'm going to try and stop thinking and go to sleep.
Because that's the kind of grown-up I am, putting the stress off while I can.

Unrelated completely: I ran outside for the first time in like a year and a half today. And I didn't die. And my knee isn't screaming in pain.

Oh Hey.

So clearly it's been awhile.

And this morning, I happened upon a post that got the wheels turning. Favorite musicals? Oh, so so many. So let's talk about them. And watch some. And sing along.

First of all. We have to talk about this.

You GUYS!

Don't worry, I've only watched it like 30 times. At least. 

I mean, really. I can't get enough of it. 

Maybe I tear up a little bit each time I watch it... It's fine.

Christmas can't come soon enough. 

Clearly, this is one of my favorites. 

And now, in no particular order (because that is FAR too hard), here are some others that I adore. 

Into the Woods

I couldn't choose a favorite song, so luckily I found a medley from the Tony Awards. 

Mostly, I LOVE Stephen Sondheim. Everything he writes. 

I love the fairy tales that are incorporated into the show. 

It's funny, romantic, but then sad and dramatic. 

The first time I saw this show, I apparently saw the children's version, which is just the first act. Then when I saw the full thing, I was in shock and horrified.
And now, I can't get enough of it. 

Sweeney Todd

Again, with the Sondheim.
The man's brilliant I tell you. 

The first time I saw this show was live in LA on a choir trip. 

I'll admit that I fell asleep for a few minutes, but that was because we'd been at Disneyland since 7:30 that morning. 

Dark room, comfy chairs, and teenagers after that is not the best combination. 

But now, I've seen it live again and the movie countless times (shh...) and I can't get over it. 

Brilliant.

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

Quite the change, yes?
This one is the epitome of cheesy musicals, and I love it. 

Who can resist seven rugged mountain men? 

This is one of the shows I always wanted to be in. 

Aida

First of all, let's just talk about Adam Pascal.
And how much I love him. (he'll make another appearance in a minute)

And the show. I mean, come on. 

Tim Rice and Elton John are a perfect duo. 

I love the story, the music, everything.

Phantom of the Opera

It's cliche, I know. But I don't care. 

I saw this live in Vegas this last March and my love was confirmed.
If you ever get to see it live, don't hesitate. 

Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

Cheesy and cliche, again, but whatever.
This was the first show I was ever in, and it sparked my love of theatre. 

And yes, I still have all the colors memorized. 

Rent

No show makes me cry quite like this one. 

And Adam Pascal.
Amen.

Newsies

Do we need to elaborate on this one?
If I were to go to New York right now, this is the show I'd see. 

Let's be real. I could on with these forever. 

So I'll stop now. 

You're welcome?

What are your favorites??

And... scene.

Because that's all it is.
A scene.
One part closing, but another opening right away.

I sit here in bed, soaking wet from my walk home.
I could have got in my car, waiting for me just before the halfway point, but I chose the rain.
It gave me time to think.
Time to sort.

Unfortunately, the thoughts aren't as sorted as I'd like them to be.

This whole week has been a roller coaster of thoughts and emotions.
Kind of like the weather today.
Cloudy. To warm. To a windstorm. To sunny and hot. To rainy, but still singing of spring.

In just eight hours, I will walk out of the last class of my undergraduate career.
47 classes.
120 credits.
All for a piece of paper.

A week from Saturday, I will don a flowing black gown, put a cap on, and walk across a stage.
If you'd asked me two months ago, I would feel much more sentimental and emotional about that moment.
But now, it's just all going to start over come August.
Two more years.

Deciding to stay was the easiest decision I ever made.
30 seconds, and I knew it was right.
It was an instant peace.
An overwhelming calm, suppressing the boiling stress I'd been feeling.
I don't know why.
I guess we'll find out.

And then it comes to nights like tonight.
I walked into work feeling stressed and annoyed. Frustrated.
At the end of it, I walked out, simultaneously breathing a huge sigh of relief and fighting back tears.

It's the end of an era.
The end of the four years I've known.
While a lot will stay the same next year, a lot will change.

A mouth that won't heal.
A great time at my job.
A semester at its end.
A boy I can't stop thinking about.
A summer ahead.
An end.
A beginning.
A roller coaster of a week.

In the film of my life,
This chapter, this scene
Is coming to an end.

And I can't wait for the next one to begin.

Because I am Female

This is me not focusing.
I should be writing
or at least transcribing quotes.
But I don't really want to.
Or I get through a paragraph and get distracted again.

So instead, here is a post inspired by an action and a conversation from this evening.

I am a woman. No question there.
I've come to the conclusion that as women, there are certain
things
feelings
behaviors
we may feel entitled to.

We are going to read WAY too far into things you
do or say or don't do or say.

We are going to make hasty decisions.
Ones that we may later regret.

We are going to expect you to read our minds and react accordingly.

You should know what we really mean when we say "I'm fine."
don't worry, there are multiple definitions

We're going to overthink
and overreact.

When we fall,
we fall hard.


Everyone else can tell how we feel about you,
so what's your problem?
Why can't you see it and do something about it?

We get emotional about anything and everything.
And we promise, you don't want us to try and explain why.
Even we don't understand it.

We multitask.
You may not feel like we're paying attention,
but oh, we are.

We notice the little things.
When you open the door, bring a favorite treat, smell good.
We notice.

Women talk.
Oh, do we talk.
That text we sent? It probably involved three of us to make it perfect.
We tell our friends about the things you do or don't say or do.
That way we can overanalyze it together.

Moral of the story?
Get used to it, boys.
You're not going to get away from these seemingly sociopathic behaviors.
It's just who. we. are. 
You know you love us.

Please Be

Be the Barney to my Robin
the Marshall to my Lily
the Ted to my... whoever he ends up with.

the Han to my Leia
the Jack to my Rose
the Joe to my Kathleen
the Jerry to my Dorothy
the Harry to my Sally
the Kermit to my Piggy
the Paul to my Holly
the Jonnny to my Baby.

Or the Luke to my Loralei
the Jim to my Pam.
The Sawyer to my Juliet
the Ross to my Rachel.

bonus points if you know all of these references


Ok, ok... It's a little far-fetched.
I know the real thing is not like the movies and tv shows.
But the thing about these ones is that they weren't always the perfect relationships.
They fought. Sometimes a lot.
But they stuck it out. Worked through it. Made it work.
Their imperfections made them better and stronger,
both individually and together.

I want that.

The Sweetest Thing

Teach our kids to play catch.
Especially the girls.

Take them to games.
And to the park.

Can we spend Sunday afternoons as a family, eating and watching football?

Let them choose their sport.
And let's be at all their games/matches/meets/recitals.

Sounds kinda perfect to me.

Thoughts for a Thursday Evening

Just some random thoughts from tonight... And by tonight I mean the last 10 minutes.

- Mmm... Ice cream!

- oh Boy, you sure missed out today. I looked cute, and just for you. Guess I'll have to try again tomorrow.

- I'm watching season 1, disc 1 of HIMYM. Again. I've lost track of how many times I've seen it, and I don't even care.

- Dang you internets, work already!! My life revolves too heavily around you for you to not work.

- It makes me sad that I didn't have to change the time my alarm is set for in the a.m. That means THREE days in a row of 6:30 wake-up.

- I love my job. A lot.