Lessons Learned the Hard Way

Hey husband of mine, whoever and wherever you are,

Ready for what I decided today?

It doesn't matter what your job is, how messy it may be, or how physical it is.

You will wear your wedding ring at all times. Even if we have to buy you a cheap-o one that we don't care gets scratched. You need something.

I'm just protecting you. You know, from girls like me.

Here's how we females work.
We see an attractive man.
Step one? Do a quick glance for a ring check.
Step two, assuming of course that the magic finger is empty, turn in the charm.

When someone isn't wearing a ring, it's instinctive to assume they are single. Or at least not in a permanent relationship.
At that point, they're fair game.

Sometimes, you find yourself in a situation where you think an attractive man you are about to spend a significant amount of time with (say, your friendly neighborhood tow truck driver) is single. He isn't wearing a ring, why think otherwise?
So you spend 40 minutes chatting, flirting a bit, making comments to make sure he knows you're single.
Then comes the phone call.
That's right, from his wife.
Talking about their children.

Obviously at this point, I tone it down. Talk less. Adjust my tone and body language.
Fifteen minutes later he says "You doing alright? You got quiet there."
"Oh yeah, I'm fine," I reply.

Just have no reason to be so chatty anymore.

Moral of the story?
You'll wear a ring. All the time.
I don't want to share you with girls like me.

Love, your protective and cautious, eventual wife.