Tender Mercies

“But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance”

(1 Ne. 1:20)

It's election week here at Utah State. 

It's always an interesting week for me. 

Two years ago, I was among those running for office.
And then I didn't win. 

(recap here)

At first, it was hard. 

It hurt. 

But as time has gone on, the more I've realized that it's what needed to happen. 

Mom said it perfectly today. 

Sometimes losing is winning. 

In the years since that election, everything has slowly fallen together. 

I've had my ups and downs, everyone has, but in the end, it's all working out.

If I had won, who knows what would have happened. 

That year got super dramatic among officers.

I would not have had the time to be involved in the things I ended up with. 

I would not be in the job at Athletics that I am. 

I would not be in the position to continue my education at Utah State. 

I would not be on the same career path. 

There would have been positives too, but in the end,

I'm glad I didn't win. 

I am in a much better spot now because of it. 

It's funny how things work out. 

Answers to prayers come in funny ways. 

I needed to run. I know that. 

I learned a lot from it. 

I grew. 

But it needed to end the way it did. 

"Some may count this experience as simply a nice coincidence, but I testify that the tender mercies of the Lord are real and that they do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence. Often, the Lord’s timing of His tender mercies helps us to both discern and acknowledge them ... Through personal study, observation, pondering, and prayer, I believe I have come to better understand that the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ."

(The Tender Mercies of the Lord - David A. Bednar, 2005)

Magic

And just like that, another home basketball season has come to a close.
It has been a very... confusing... season.
Utah State has been spoiled these last few years, so when things changed, it came as a shock to everyone.
Rather than ending the season at 30-4, we'll be lucky if we can finish over .500.
That's what happens when you lose six seniors.
We had to start over.

The entire season has been a roller coaster ride.
It was one full of rebuilding.
Injuries.
Recovery.

It has been an interesting year for me, being on the other side of it all.
In the past, I spent so many hours waiting in the Spectrum, earning my second row seat.
In the three seasons I was in Section F, I made some great friends and lived my dream college life.
Now things are different.
I wear a dress to games.
I sit quietly on the press or scorers table.
I have to focus on specific things and can't yell and scream.
It took some getting used to, but now that is what I love.

I see everything from an entirely different perspective.

On Monday, I was preparing myself for tonight to be my last home game as a student.
Luckily, by Tuesday, that had all changed.
I can't wait for another two years.

For 45 minutes before every game, I stand at the door selling programs.
I see the entire range of Aggie fans.
There are the newborn babies who have no clue what is going on.
There are the young kids who are enthralled by everything that is happening around them.
They are decked out in blue, and just so excited.
There are the college students.
The high school kids who come, dreaming of the day they can join the college kids.
There are the young alumni.
The old alumni.
There is a man I talk to at every game who helped build the Spectrum.
He and his wife have sat in the same seats at every game for 45 years.

There is the man who always reminds me to smile.
There's Dale.
Dale isn't all the way there.
He is so friendly and chatty.
Every night, he asks if I have a boyfriend yet.
When I say no, he tells me I'd better get on it.
There are the "regulars."
The ones who buy a program every week.
There's the university president.
The football coaches.

We know each other.
These people represent what it is to be an Aggie.

It doesn't matter how the team is doing.
It doesn't matter that we've lost more times at home this year than we have in the last six years combined.
What matters is that we're there.
We love our team. We love our school.
That is the magic of the Spectrum.
That is the magic of Utah State.

24 Hours

24 hours ago I had no idea what I was doing with my life.
And now, it's all falling into place. 

I got brave and sent my boss an email, asking about the possibility of me continuing to work for the department.
Turns out they like me.
And think I'm worth keeping around.
(even people who I didn't know knew me)

So.
Moral of the story is
I get to be an Aggie for two more years.
And the athletic department is going to pay for it
while I keep doing what I've been doing.
What I LOVE.

Now granted, this opens up all sorts of new questions.
What do I get a master's in
(right now it's looking like I'll just join the other GAs in their program)
Where do I live? With who?

While those things are stressful
it's nothing compared to the stress I had been feeling.
Things are falling into place.
And it feels great.

An Unexpected Adventure

On Friday morning, I woke up, went to my two classes, and headed to work.
As I went about my morning, I thought about all the nothing I had going on for the weekend.
Around 11:30, I got a phone call asking what I was doing this weekend and if I wanted to go to Texas instead.
Some things had come up at work, requiring things and people to be shuffled around with the different teams and their games.
So two hours after that phone call, I found myself on a bus on the way to Salt Lake.
By 7, I was in Dallas.

Since this wasn't my first rodeo of SID-ing, I felt much more comfortable and confident coming into the trip.
The team and coaches are all super friendly and took me right in like I'd been a part of them forever.

On Friday night, we were talking about the plans for before Saturday's meet.
Coach was talking about how much it was killing him to be this close to Cowboys Stadium and not go.
I jumped in saying the same thing.
Then we found out the stadium was only 14 miles from the airport, where someone had to go to pick up another coach.
At that moment, we knew it was going to happen.

You guys, Cowboys Stadium is like a dream come true for me.
Every football season, I sit on a couch watching my boys play, wishing I could be there in person.
Even when this spontaneous trip came up, I didn't even fathom that we would get to go to the stadium. This was a work trip, after all.

You pay just a simple $17 and you have at it.
From the field to the locker rooms to the media room to the tunnel, you see it all...

Dream job... Maybe one day I'll get to do real interviews with real Cowboys in this room... 

Game time!

 You guys. It's for real so huge. I can't even believe it.

Fact. The best $17 I've ever spent.
And then I had to buy a $20 t-shirt. 

Because I mean, how can you not? 

From there, it was off to the gymnastics meet. 

The thing about going on these trips, is that it's a chance to pretend to be all grown up. 

I get to get all dressed up and walk around confidently and like I know what I'm doing. 

Yet, on the inside, I'm giddy and panicky and thrilled all at the same time. 

It's always a reminder that I am doing what I want to do.
Any day I question it - and the crazy hours and lack of money - I can think back to these trips and remember that it's what I want!

Life

Well, here we are.
New year, new semester.
And so far, so good.
Granted, this whole 7:30 class thing may kill me.
But other than that.

The biggest difference right now is the way I feel.
In the last two weeks, I have worked out at least once a day, five days a week.
And it feels great.
It's not so much that I've seen crazy, drastic results physically.
It gives me energy. It makes me happy.
(because exercise creates endorphins, and endorphins make you happy, and happy people just don't shoot their husbands)
I do more during the day. I drink more water. I eat better. I go to sleep earlier. I have an easier time getting up in the morning.
Everything is just better.
I keep things interesting - treadmill & elliptical one day, Jillian Michaels another, my conditioning and zumba classes twice a week.
I also joined a real gym. Where the people there care. They aren't there to show off, they aren't there to find a date. (Though I'll tell you, after just a few days there, I wouldn't necessarily object if that were to happen...)

In other news...
I'm working on my first "grown-up" job application.
Crazy, right??
I just have to write a cover letter and it can go off!
It's a job with the Arizona Diamondbacks - a job I'd kill to have.
We'll see how it goes.
But it's just a start.
It's nerve-wracking to be thinking about growing up and stuff.
However, just doing this application has gotten the ball rolling.
It reminds me that I'm going in the right direction.
I've found what I love.
And I can do it for the rest of my life.
Sure, it's a pretty specific field, but I can make it as broad or as narrow as I'd like.
Bring it on. 

Here we Go

Tonight.

We are young

So let's set the world on fire
We can burn brighter
Than the sun

Tonight. 

Or 2012.
It's all the same. 

This is a big year. 

You know, minor things like graduating from college. 

This is the year I grow up. 

This is MY year. 

I don't do resolutions.
They're often forced, then just forgotten about. 

My sweet friend Stephanie calls it her to-do list

and that's exactly how I think of it. 

PHYSICAL

I know it's cliche to strive to lose weight at the beginning of the year.
Mine is different though. 

I'm not going to set a number on it.
Not on the pounds lost or the sizes dropped. 

It's all about the health factor.
I just want to feel healthy.

I want to feel pretty. 

I want to feel confident.
All the time. 

SPIRITUAL
Lately I have been really terrible at staying consistent in my personal prayer and scripture study. 

It's one of those things that I know is necessary. 

I know my life goes a lot more smoothly when I do these things. 

I need to be better about making it a priority to go to Institute. 

I will pay my tithing when I get paid.
That way I won't forget about it and will stay on top of it. 

EMOTIONAL

Like I said, this is a big year.

There are a lot of changes coming up.
I don't like change. 

Especially big ones. 

Any time I think about it all, I get terrified.
I stress out . I think of all the things that could go wrong. 

I just need to remember that it will all be alright. 

Everything that needs to will work out.

"Seize the day boys. Make your lives extraordinary." 

The world is on my side
I have no reason to run 

(thank you Fun. for the lyrics)

Lessons Learned the Hard Way

Hey husband of mine, whoever and wherever you are,

Ready for what I decided today?

It doesn't matter what your job is, how messy it may be, or how physical it is.

You will wear your wedding ring at all times. Even if we have to buy you a cheap-o one that we don't care gets scratched. You need something.

I'm just protecting you. You know, from girls like me.

Here's how we females work.
We see an attractive man.
Step one? Do a quick glance for a ring check.
Step two, assuming of course that the magic finger is empty, turn in the charm.

When someone isn't wearing a ring, it's instinctive to assume they are single. Or at least not in a permanent relationship.
At that point, they're fair game.

Sometimes, you find yourself in a situation where you think an attractive man you are about to spend a significant amount of time with (say, your friendly neighborhood tow truck driver) is single. He isn't wearing a ring, why think otherwise?
So you spend 40 minutes chatting, flirting a bit, making comments to make sure he knows you're single.
Then comes the phone call.
That's right, from his wife.
Talking about their children.

Obviously at this point, I tone it down. Talk less. Adjust my tone and body language.
Fifteen minutes later he says "You doing alright? You got quiet there."
"Oh yeah, I'm fine," I reply.

Just have no reason to be so chatty anymore.

Moral of the story?
You'll wear a ring. All the time.
I don't want to share you with girls like me.

Love, your protective and cautious, eventual wife.